Good parenting, as James E. Faust said, “Is the greatest challenge in the world.”[I] Because we know that families are eternal and central to God’s plan for us, we understand the great importance of doing our best to be good parents. It can be daunting as we try to raise righteous children in a world where evil is all around us. With all the hustle and bustle in our lives today, it can be very easy to get distracted and lose focus on our most important priority, which is the family. Here are four parenting mistakes to avoid as you strive to protect and strengthen your family.
1. Not Prioritizing Your Marriage
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“Some LDS young women, who nearly always want to have children,
now say they are frightened by the very concept of marriage, having picked up
the message from the current environment that marriage can trap them or tie
them down. The connection between a
mature marriage and raising spiritually healthy children is not as obvious to
our young people as it is to older generations.
These trends have deprived many of the rising generation of a
once-instinctive understanding about the influence of family lifestyle and divorce
patterns on the character and behavior of children and, hence, society.”[2]
You can make your marriage a top priority by taking time to go on dates and spending time with each other, attending the temple together, looking for ways to serve your spouse, pray for each other, and making an effort to communicate and work through challenges. Make sure you take time to have gospel discussions regularly and to end your day by kneeling and praying together.
You can make your marriage a top priority by taking time to go on dates and spending time with each other, attending the temple together, looking for ways to serve your spouse, pray for each other, and making an effort to communicate and work through challenges. Make sure you take time to have gospel discussions regularly and to end your day by kneeling and praying together.
2. Letting Children Decide What They Want to Believe and Follow Without Giving Full Gospel Instruction
Parents can ensure that children are having constant opportunities to learn gospel principles in the home by having daily family prayer and scripture study, weekly family home evenings, bearing your testimony to your children, and by being mindful of natural learning opportunities that come almost on a daily basis. Remember that your example is one of the most powerful influences on your children.
3. Not Having Consistent Family Dinners
It is easy for families to become overscheduled as children are
involved in extracurricular activities after school. When time is short, one of the first things
that is cut is dinner at home together and it is often replaced with fast food,
eating on-the-go, or an ala carte dinner in the kitchen that kids can grab as
they come and go from home. What’s
missing is that valuable time for talk, reconnection, and family time around
the dinner table each evening.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks makes reference to some recent studies on
family mealtimes. “The number of those
who report that their ‘whole family usually eats dinner together’ has declined
33 percent. This is most concerning because the time a family spends together ‘eating
meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement
and psychological adjustment.’ Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a
strong bulwark against children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is inspired wisdom in
this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you.”[4]
To avoid this, be aware of how your commitments will impact your family and how much time it will be taking away from being together. On busy days, plan ahead so that dinners can be fast and easy. There may be times when you will have to be prepared to say no to certain activities or obligations.
To avoid this, be aware of how your commitments will impact your family and how much time it will be taking away from being together. On busy days, plan ahead so that dinners can be fast and easy. There may be times when you will have to be prepared to say no to certain activities or obligations.
4. Keeping Your Kids in a Bubble
David O. McKay has said, "I feel that the first contribution of the home to the happiness of the child is to impress him with the fact that there are bounds beyond which he cannot go with safety; second, to teach him to be considerate of the rights of others; third, to have him feel that home is a place where confidences and consolations are exchanged; and fourth, to have him cherish the thought that home is a haven of seclusion and rest from the worries and perplexities of life."[6]
As we teach our children, it is important to contrast what the world says versus what the Lord says. A few examples of where the Lord and the world vary greatly include: marriage, sex and sexuality, relationships, gender and gender roles, media, dating, taking care of your body, work, technology, and education. Just shielding them from the very things we want them to avoid will not be enough. They are going to have to have a knowledge of Satan's deceits and how best to deal with these issues so that they can better navigate themselves in the world.
References:
As we teach our children, it is important to contrast what the world says versus what the Lord says. A few examples of where the Lord and the world vary greatly include: marriage, sex and sexuality, relationships, gender and gender roles, media, dating, taking care of your body, work, technology, and education. Just shielding them from the very things we want them to avoid will not be enough. They are going to have to have a knowledge of Satan's deceits and how best to deal with these issues so that they can better navigate themselves in the world.
References:
[1] The Greatest Challenge in the World – Good Parenting;
James E. Faust
[2] Covenant
Hearts; Bruce C. Hafen
[3] MoralDiscipline; D. Todd Christofferson
[4] Good,Better, Best; Dallin H. Oaks
[5] TrueBelievers in Christ; Neal A. Maxwell
[6] A Parent’s Guide, David O. McKay
