Every
once in a while an event occurs in our lives that teaches us something about
the true meaning of life and offers us a glimpse into the eternities. For my
wife and me, one of those events occurred earlier this year when, after more
than three years of trying unsuccessfully to have children on our own, we were
able to adopt our sweet baby girl. More than anything else, becoming a father
has helped me gain a better understanding of the nature of our relationship
with God. So, while I certainly realize that I am only at the beginning of this
great adventure called parenthood (and have a LOT more to learn), here are just
three of the lessons I have found most meaningful during my short time as a
father.
Lesson 1: God wants us to succeed, and He is
thrilled when we do
When my wife and I first started to talk about
having children, one of my biggest worries was that I wouldn’t know what to do
with a baby. I’ve always enjoyed babysitting and playing with my nieces,
nephews, and other children who were a little older, but I have never felt very
comfortable with newborns or very young babies. To be honest, I’ve always found
them kind of boring. Now having my own child, I can think of little that brings
me more joy or excitement than spending time with my baby girl. Practically
everything she does and every new level of development fills me with utter
happiness—from gaining the strength to hold up her own head, to learning to
pull on the trunk of her musical elephant toy, or learning to roll over on her
own. Each new thing that she does is met with a “That’s so good! What a big
girl!” or a “Honey, come and look at this!” Every one of her little successes
is a success for Dad, too.
The great sense of pride and accomplishment that
I feel in my baby’s little victories represent a parallel for me of the joy
that God must have in our successes. If God’s “work” and “glory” are indeed to
“bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39),
then He must have that same sense of excitement when He sees us progressing.
Each time we learn or internalize a true principle, or overcome a temptation
and stay true to our faith, or reach out with love to serve one of His other
children, I’m sure He rejoices. As a loving Father, what other response could
He have?
Lesson 2: God knows us better than we know
ourselves
Through watching my little girl grow and
develop, I have come to know her so well that I can anticipate both her
behavior and her needs. Like any other parent, I know her patterns and her
cries (whether indicating a true need or just letting out some little-person
frustration); I know how and when she likes to be held and snuggled; I know
when she needs to sleep (even if she doesn’t agree); and I know how I need to
respond to her little noises and facial expressions to prevent, well, anything
unpleasant. Along those lines, I was quite pleased with myself the other day
when, while doing some work with her on my lap, I heard a little rumble and was
able to grab a nearby burp cloth and catch some spit-up before it could make a
mess of things. In general, I know what she likes, wants, and needs, and
probably more importantly, what she does NOT like, want, or need.
My knowledge of my little girl and my ability to
anticipate her needs has come naturally by observing and providing for her over
just a few short months. How much more, then, must God know us after observing
us throughout our premortal
and mortal existence? Just as the Lord told Jeremiah, “Before I formed thee in
the belly, I knew thee” (Jeremiah 1:5), so also
did God know and observe us before our time on earth. It’s no wonder that God
knows us so well and knows what’s best for us, even if we don’t know ourselves.
Lesson 3: God loves us more deeply than we can
comprehend
Like other Christians, I grew up constantly
hearing the phrase “God is our loving Father.” As a missionary for The Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I even used that exact phrase to teach
others about our relationship with God. Since I have been blessed throughout my
life with a strong relationship with my own father, I thought I knew what that
meant. While that may have been true from the perspective of a son, it wasn’t
until I became a father myself that I began to understand what that really
meant from His
perspective. My love for my little girl and my desire for her happiness rivals
only my feelings for my wife—when she’s happy, I’m ecstatic; when she’s sad or
in pain, my heart aches; when she’s being active and playful, I’ll put down
whatever I’m working on to play with her; and when I see something excite her
or ignite her mind, I will do all I can to encourage her learning. For
instance, just a few weeks ago, we went on a little family outing to the pet
store so our little girl could see some animals. (Before I continue, you should
know that my wife has been working on me to get a pet since even before we were
married, with little success. Not that I don’t love animals, but I can’t see
the practicality in owning one at the moment). Watching our baby’s face light
up and seeing her wiggle and giggle with excitement especially at seeing the
turtles and colorful fish, I immediately turned to my wife and said, “She’s so
excited! Should we buy her a fish?”
My great love and desire for my daughter’s
happiness have given me a taste of what God must feel for us and how much he
desires to bless us. To quote my wife “He’s probably up there just waiting for
any excuse to bless us!” Of course, this concept is consistent with the
Savior’s own teachings: “Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask
bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a
serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your
children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things
to them that ask him?” (Matthew 7:9-11)
I will likely never fully understand the depth
of God’s love for us in this life, but I am so grateful for the increased
understanding that fatherhood has provided. And I so look forward to letting my
little girl teach me more!
